Windy Days
by bessie1
Summary: A Windy Day leads to some interesting conversation between our favourite brothers


**Disclaimer: **I don't own either words of Wordsworth, the characters of supernatural or the cartoon of Scooby Doo. All belong to other people.

"**OH there is blessing in this gentle breeze,**

**A visitant that while it fans my cheek**

**Doth seem half-conscious of the joy it brings"**

William Wordsworth, Prelude

Sam didn't know why but every time he saw the wind, he heard those ancient words echo in his mind. He didn't know what it was about the wind that meant so much to him, but he did know that windy days meant he got to stay indoors. He felt his face tug into a small smile at that thought. Dean may not get annoyed easily but Sam knew nothing pissed his brother off more than wind. If it wasn't so downright amusing it would have been worrying. He knew Dean wouldn't want to venture too far today, and was looking forward to just staying inside and making fun of the crappy day time telly shows. He felt his heart clench as he remembered how often he and Jess would spend entire weekends just sitting at home, needing nothing more than each other's company.

"I am going to have to start drugging you" Dean's familiar caustic tone jerked Sam away from thoughts he knew better than to be lost in. "Jesus Sammy when's the last time you slept for more than two hours"

"It's Sam" his brother replied and for a split second wondered if he should pretend he hadn't heard the rest of what his brother had said. "And I slept a little in the car remember"

Dean shook his head as he pulled himself out of his bed and wandered over to join his brother at the window, his eyes narrowing as he saw Sam shaking slightly. He realised that motel windows did not come double glazed and Sam was currently only wearing his boxers. "Sleeping involves resting Sammy" he insisted his voice unusually soft as he dragged a blanket of the nearest bed and draped it round Sam's shoulders.

Sam took the edges of the blanket as he felt it come around him and involuntarily felt his lips twitch into a smile. He looked at his brother, touched suddenly by his gesture. In that moment he realised why he had never felt he belonged at Stanford. He couldn't deny that as annoying, frustrating and stubborn as his big brother could be, he was still the only one in his life who would notice Sam was cold even before Sam had acknowledged it himself. Not even Jess had known him that well. He suddenly felt the urge to change the mood and he knew the perfect topic.

"Look" he said gesturing to the window and smiling widely, "The leaves are twirling and the trees are shaking, we both know what that means" his voice adopting a sing-song quality.

"Sam" Dean warned knowing where his brother was going with this

"People are fighting with their scarves and expensive hairstyles going south, and we both know what that means," his little brother continued.

"Sam" it was more of a growl now

Sam grinned and realised he was actually surprised he still remembered the words. "The raindrops are waiting and the clouds are not moving and we both know what that means"

"Sammy" the word was ground out harshly as though it were a fork being scraped across a glass plate and Sam knew he had to finish and move quickly to protect the physical well-being of his person

"The breezes we come and the footpaths we sweep, for get ready everybody its blustery day to be" Sam reeled off the last line before leaping nimbly over the nearest bed and into the bathroom just before Dean could whip around and hurt him. The angry curse behind the door made him realise he had effectively slammed it shut in his brother's face.

"Samuel Winchester!" Dean thundered completely annoyed "Heaven help you when you come out of there"

Sam knew he was in enough trouble already but at his brother's threat he could help but let out an involuntary laugh. Dean's eyes narrowed. "And if you find even an iota of this amusing I am never letting you drive my baby again"

Sam forced himself to choke back the laughter, knowing that with Dean a threat based on his car was serious. "I'm not laughing Dean" Sam finally gasped out though he was struggling to hold back his amusement

"You better not be Sammy" Dean said though his voice sounded muffled and Sam guessed he was pulling clothes on.

"Sammy I'm going to get coffee" Dean called after a few minutes of silence and just as Sam was about to climb into the shower. "If I find you haven't left any hot water … well lets just say we have a long drive ahead of us and sitting on your ass will suddenly not be so comfy"

Sammy gulped and wondered why his brother's threats affected him as much now as they did fifteen years ago. He rolled his eyes and decided that he really needed to develop more of a backbone where Dean was concerned. He mentally patted himself on the back as he decided that shutting the door in his brother's face was a very real step in that direction.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam found himself sitting on his bed drinking hot coffee and watching his brother's back as Dean stood in front of the window. He shrugged of the extra jacket his brother had glared him into wrapping around himself and instead went to join his brother. He tried to be as quiet as possible but he still saw Dean's expression change as he approached closer. "You reckon we should turn the TV on" Dean smiled and Sam could see that his brother wasn't ready to share whatever was on his mind. He felt something inside of him break a little as he realised yet again Dean's attempt to distance Sam from his thoughts.

"Why not, I reckon a couple of hours of Dr. Phil would do you good" Sam said as he walked back to where had been sitting. He took another sip of his coffee "I still don't get how you got this coffee free you know?"

Dean smirked "Well it's all part of my secret charm"

Sam rolled his eyes "You realise that it has yet to work on anyone"

"Hey you're drinking my charm" Dean countered

"I doubt it's your charm Dean, more your chivalry. You must have helped one of the waitresses in something no doubt" Dean felt his mouth gape slightly. Sometimes he forget how annoyingly perceptive his baby brother could be.

Sam looked at his brother's features and seeing the outrage allowed himself a small satisfied smirk. It wasn't everyday he got one over his big brother with quite so little effort.

"So what had you freezing your butt of this morning" Dean asked casually. Sam jerked his head in brother's direction so hard he felt his muscle snap. He had thought his brother had forgotten all about that but realised Dean had just been waiting for Sam to calm down some.

"Just a nightmare" he said equally as casually

"Yeah?" Dean asked, "Cause it seemed a bit more than that"

Sam shook his head, "Nothing to worry about" he said quietly

Dean sighed softly but just loud enough for Sam to hear. "What?"

Dean didn't answer, just waved a hand for him to shut up while he searched for the remote, "What Dean?" Sam asked more insistently

"What what?" Dean asked his voice muffled from under the bed as he hunted for that stupid control.

Sam sighed and wondered who had decided that Dean should have been made so stubborn. "What was that sigh for Dean"

Dean finally pulled his head up from under the bed and had Sam not being trying to keep the mood serious he would have giggled at the site of his brother's ruffled hair.

"It was nothing, just on what you said"

"What when I asked you not to worry, I meant it"

Dean grinned slowly and somewhat ruefully "Kid I worry about you when things are perfectly fine, are you seriously expecting me stop worrying when there is something actually bothering you"

"Birds of a feather Dean" Sam stated quietly before draining the last of his coffee

"What?"

"See this why this whole relationship is just so frickin annoying Dean" Sam said suddenly, deciding he was through waiting for Dean to join the dots in his head. "You're the one who said we have no chick-flick moments. Fine I'm cool with that. So what gives you the right to be so constantly concerned about me, demanding to know what's wrong when you won't even let me apologise to you"

Dean's face had become stoned, his usual defence expression when things caught him of guard. Sam wasn't through though. "Who the hell decided that I was more important of the two here Dean? You're right I shouldn't leave things stewing. Maybe I should tell you what's really wrong or why I can't sleep but for fuck's sake Dean that has gotta work both ways." Sam felt his voice breaking and he knew he had started shaking again but this needed to be said and he needed to finish before he lost the courage to do so "I need to be let in too Dean" he said shakily "I need to know that I am as important to you as you …" he broke of and tried again. "Please Dean" he said instead "I…". He stopped completely as he felt the lately familiar stubborn warmth sting his eyes. "Crap… I didn't…" his breath caught as he choked on a sob, unable to refill his lungs with oxygen.

Dean's mind was still reeling from Sam's words, however the big brother in him still registered the panic attack that was about to engulf Sam. Instantly on his feet he crossed the little distance between the two beds and kneeling in front of Sam, he pushed Sam's head down gently with one hand, letting his other arm wrap around Sam's waist to steady his quaking body. 'Easy Sammy" Dean said keeping his voice soft. "Small breaths Sammy, in out, in out, easy kid, just calm down you know the drill" Dean tightened his right arm around Sam's waist as he felt Sam slowly reign control of his lungs back in. When Sam's breathing became a little lighter, Dean shifted from the floor and on to the bed still keeping his arms where they were. "Damn it Sammy" he said as he sank onto the soft mattress and pulled an unresisting Sam into his chest, wrapping his arms tighter around him.

They stayed that way for several moments as Sam buried his head into the soft folds of his brother's cotton top, his own hands gripping the back of Dean's shirt tightly. "I'm sorry" Sam said finally though he didn't move away from Dean.

Dean laughed slightly, though it was more sarcastic than humorous, "I reckon not Sammy" he said lightly. "At least not about what you said." Sam silently agreed with him, grateful that Dean made no attempt to pull away.

"You're right" Dean continued after a long pause and if Sam had thought he would be allowed back in Dean's arms if he pulled away he would have drawn back to meet his brother's eyes at that moment. As it was he knew Dean was only saying this because some things were easier said to the wall than to a face. "I do expect more from you than I am willing to give" he sighed and Sam could feel his chest shudder slightly. "But that's cause you have enough issues Sam without needing to be burdened with more concerns from me"

"Well then why do you get to be "burdened" as you call it" Sam demanded

"That's a little something to do with birth order Sammy" Dean said dryly. "Older brother remember – more Christmases than you, wiser, smarter, better looking…"

"The later of which have nothing to do with age" Sam interjected but he was glad Dean was trying to lighten the mood. It meant his brother wasn't mad at him about his little tantrum. He figured that judging on how the tight the arms around his were holding he had only succeeded in making his brother worry more. But that was okay because they needed to have this conversation.

"I'm serious Sammy" Dean said sternly. "It's the natural order; you don't deal with my problems'

"I'm not asking you tell me what you worry about Dean" Sam said quietly "I know that hard for you. But don't avoid me when I need to talk to you about you." He felt his brothers arms wrap closer and realised he had started trembling again. "Sometimes I need to say I'm sorry and I need to know you accept it"

"Sammy in our line of work this kinda shit happens all the time. We react, we smart and we move on. Saying sorry only keeps the memory alive'

"Dammit Dean that's not how I cope." Sam said forcefully, his shakes increasing "I hurt you" he choked "I caused you pain emotionally and physically and I know somewhere you must resent me. No matter what you say."

Dean shook his head "Sammy do you have any idea how many things I have seen in my time" he felt his little brother's shaking body relax slightly falling further into his chest. "I meant what I said when I told you not to bring it home with you" and then seeing Sam about to protest added "I'm human kid, I was as angry as hell at you about what happened. But it wasn't you. I realised I always knew that. I didn't need to tell you I forgave you because there wasn't anything to forgive. My little brother didn't shoot me that night. And I need for you to understand that and forgive yourself"

When Sammy nodded into his chest Dean smiled wryly "now you see why I hate windy days, damn stupid clouds and leaves, it leaves people stuck indoors and forces them to make their own renditions of Oprah." There was so much menace in his words that Sam had to actually borrow into his brother's shirt to muffle his giggle snort. He knew teasing Dean about the wind was suicidal and he had used enough lives up today. He sighed and let his brother words sink into his chest, thawing the guilt that had frozen around his heart. "You need to tell me that Dean" he said quietly "I don't care if it's to tell me I am being stupid and way too emotional but say it. Just promise me you won't avoid the subject"

Dean glanced down at the boy in his arms not saying anything. He never made promises he couldn't keep, especially not to anyone as important to him as his baby brother "Sammy I..."

"Please Dean" Sam insisted "I won't pry and I'll answer all your questions on me, I promise, just please I don't ever won't have you go silent on me"

He could feel Dean's resolve wavering. "Please" he pleaded

"I can't promise I will always talk to you kid" Dean whispered finally and felt Sam shift in his arms. "But I promise not to stop you from talking to me ever again" so softy that had Sam not been so close he would never even have known his brother had spoken. Dean drew a deep breath and closed his suddenly tired eyes as he felt Sam's hands on his back tighten and grip him closer after those words.

"Fucking storms" he said as he heard the wind crash against their, at best flimsy, motel window. "I am so complaining to management if we freeze to death here due to crappy single glazing."

Sam was trying desperately not to laugh. It wasn't that he hadn't seen Dean express feelings before at inanimate objects. Hell Dean loved his car and expressed plenty of emotion for that inanimate object. It was just amusing to hear his brother sound so defeated with something as normal as wind. He dug his face deeper into his brother's chest to hide his snickers but Dean wasn't fooled this time and without any warning shoved his brother completely off the bed with one smooth movement. "Ow" Sammy said with a genuine cry of pain as he landed on his butt before he had even realised that he had left the comfort of his brother's arms.

"That's for laughing at me" Dean stated and then leaning down shoved his brother so he fell onto his back upon the questionably clean carpet. "And that Samuel" he continued noting with satisfaction the wince the crossed his brother's face at mention of his full Christian name "Is for this morning and that little episode in front of the window." As Dean spoke he was on his feet and filling a motel glass with water from the bathroom. Coming back before Sam had a chance to do anymore then sit up; he dumped the entire glass on Sam's head

"Dean, you fucking jerk…" Sam gasped through his shock

"And that Samuel Winchester is a lesson to remember never to slam any door in my face again!" Dean finished

"Now" Dean said as he walked over to his own bed and sat back against the headboard "What do you say to some mind numbing day time telly?"

Sam shook his head and watched as raindrops bounded of his hair and reflected the spectrum in the sunlight coming through the window. The rainbow on those pearls matched the one struggling to come up outside. He pulled himself to his feet and decided that he might as well continue with the annoying little brother thing, since he seemed to have it down pat. Deliberately ignoring his bed, he flipped on the motel room switch for the ceiling fan before shoving Dean across and sitting down next to him on his bed.

"Dammit Sammy" Dean whined, "I hate the fan switch it off"

Sam grinned and moved closer. "Not my problem, I love the breeze" he said maliciously. It was short-lived however when the fan made his already cold head colder and he shivered sharply. Dean smacked his brother around the head before walking across the room and switching the fan off himself. Pausing by Sam's bed he grabbed the blanket and tossed it at his little brother before coming back around.

"That hurt Dean" Sam said as he pulled the blanket around. The fan has chilled the room quickly and his wet hair meant he was as cold as Dean had realised.

"Sam move away, you're all wet" Dean said annoyed ignoring his brother's last words. Sam realised that he had subconsciously moved closer to his brother's warmth and in the process was dripping water over his brother's shoulder.

"And whose fault is that I wonder" Sam snapped

"Sam I swear you are being more annoying than usual today" Dean growled and then looking across at Sam smiled. One of the better parts of growing up with someone was that you had a very good idea of what annoyed the other person. Sam's knowledge of his pet hate worked just as well the other way. Flicking rapidly through channels he found a trusty stand-by and as if by fate his favourite show was on

"No fucking way…' Sam started

"Now you'll hurt his feelings if you say stuff like that out loud Sammy' Dean grinned without remorse.

"If this is for the nursery rhyme earlier Dean I'm sorry" Sam said pleadingly. "You know how much I…"

"I know nothing" Dean sang and then began humming "…Where are you, we've got some work to do now" under his breath for added irritation

"Dean…"

Outside the wind continued pound mercilessly at the window, but it was now competing with the sun. It had achieved enough for one day and was now ready to move to where it was needed more.

A/N: Please let me know what you think. The good and bad always are both welcome


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